Rant.

I blew off soccer this morning. Why? Because it's raining and I don't feel like playing soccer in the gym. Senioritis at it's finest.

1) Drew & Taryn are doing well, for those that are wondering. My life has been CRAZY since September ... but then 3 months later I settled right into a groove like I haven't been making piss-poor decisions. (The plus side is that I don't repeat my mistakes. I make a bunch of new ones.) 

2) I'm not actually mad at Matt or Sauce anymore. It takes way too much energy to stay angry over something dumb. 

3) Matt suddenly decided he wanted me back. The pickle: he's married. How does *that* make sense in his brain??? (If you never GOT that story? Readers' digest version: we break up. He gets married two weeks later. I didn't really broadcast anything until January because frankly, I was insulted and offended and was kind of pissed off that I gave a damn one way or another) 

4) I love that Matt's wife found not only my cell number, my home number AND a way to reach me at work ... but she'll just call and sit on the line breathing and not saying a word. Coward. God forbid I don't answer, because she'll keep calling. And then find a friend's phone and keep calling. How many fucking ways can you say RELENTLESS?

5) Bottom line: the dude is HER problem, not mine. And it quite frankly, her calling upsets me to no end. Just ... WHY?!?! It's an insult to injury when she asks for relationship advice because I "know him better". Call me crazy, but as his WIFE? *You* should know him better than anyone. 

6) Drew is rightfully unsettled that I give my ex or his wife the time of day for any reason. I fail as a girlfriend. Why go BACK in time when the here-and-now is much more pleasant? It's a question for the ages.

7) I interviewed for the *one* internship position available at the Long Beach Visitors & Convention Bureau. I might be imagining things, but the VP of Marketing and the Director of PR seemed unduly impressed with my resume, my past experience as a journalist and my portfolio. Rule of thumb: if it seems too good to be true, it usually is. I'm not expecting to be the ONE person they select. But I'm hoping for it. I did my best. 

8) I officially *HATE* my internship with American Rebel. And hate is such an awfully strong word. If I can't REPLACE my internship immediately? I'm doing my 150 hours ASAP and then seeking out a new one. I want to be a GOOD PR professional. 

9) My Plan B & C involves doing more time volunteering for the OC/PRSA. And being really active with the PRSSA. 

10) I really REALLY want my Masters of Journalism.Why? For no other reason than to prove that I'm a journalist at the core of things. Specifically from the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism @ ASU, Tempe. It's one of the best in the country. But mostly, I know that I can't get into Columbia University in New York. 

11) The future scares me. I haven't been able to find a job because school/interning sucks up 5 days a week of my time excluding studying. I finally had to swallow my pride before it choked me ... and I asked my parents to bail me out. Right now? I owe them close to $2000. And it's only February. They continue to see my current predicament a "short term problem". I see it as a problem that I'm in debt in the first place.

12) In May? I'm responsible for finances I've never been responsible for. I'm a little nervous. My state of unemployment is NOT making me happy.

13) How did my dad put it ... My behavior thus far has left much to be desired. He blames it on my frontal lobe development. Apparently I'm not going to be thinking rationally until the age of 25. 

14) Tough love in my house has had all sorts of weird repercussions. My mom told me to apologize to my Dad for something. I said I'd apologize the day he actually said the words "I love you".

15) I have more drama in my life *NOW* than I did in high school. I'm a late bloomer.

... End rant.