Thursday, July 29, 2010

The subject of children again?

Second post of the day: I've officially decided that society deems people that decide they do not want children as "odd ducks". But I'm not odd -- I'm just rational.

Reasoning for this conclusion came from something I had posted on my Facebook. I was browsing the CSUF Titan Bookstore yesterday for a sticker or a new sweatshirt or something ... and I came across the infant section of the Titan Gear. And I thought to myself Well how adorable. If I ever chose to have a kid, which I probably won't decide to do ... I could have him or her rock out in CSUF onesies! Thumbs up! And I posted more or less the same thing, on my wall, with a photo of the onesie.

Baby Titan Onesie! :)
And it is an adorable onesie. But I think the part that troubles people, is when I say things like "If I had a kid, and probably won't" [which is also probably exactly true] ... jaws drop and they go Really? Never Ever?  Now, to my own credit -- I didn't say "never". I just said "Probably not" because plans might change.

I think I've said this about a thousand times so I'll say it again: I'm not ready for a child. I don't think they're miracles. I don't even like children. I agree that babies are adorable, but let's be honest: they're narcissists that believe your sole purpose in this world is to cater to their itty-bitty baby needs.

If you like children? Great. If you WANT children? Also great. But I'm only 24 years old ... I don't want to be a mother yet. Taking my aversion to children in general, it may very well be that the miracle of life is not something I can look forward to.  I still want to be impulsive and be able to drop what I'm doing and go somewhere. I want to climb the career totem pole, I want to see Europe, I especially want to travel to EASTERN Europe and Russia, possibly while Drew is deployed. And I want my own horse more than anything in the world, and I know damn well how much a horse costs.

I want to be young. I want to be happy. Having a child involves slowing down and settling down -- and that's just not what I want to do at the age of 24. I may be getting married, but that doesn't mean I want to be a parent in the next year. Considering that Drew is combat oriented and in the past has been deployed back to back for 6-8 months ... I don't even want to be thinking about being a parent until I know that his career has slowed down a little. If only for the reason that I know that I would go stir crazy as a "single parent". There are plenty of military moms that can do it; but I'm deciding that I just don't wanna. And I don't have to.

Plans change all the time. I'm not denying that I may change my mind. But for the last 4 years of my life: my position has been "No, not now. I'm not ready."

I respect anyone's choice to be a parent. All I ask is that you respect mine in not. Maybe when I'm over the age of 30 I'll be ready and maybe I won't. I don't look down my nose at you for being a parent; I just know that I'm in no way shape or form, ready for that responsibility.


  1. You know I support you 100%. Eff 'em if they can't understand or comprehend, or choose NOT to. People are equally as insensitive when it comes to those who CAN'T have children. =/

  2. I can respect your views. I was once in that mind frame as well (besides thinking children are narcissists because lets be honest, you have to cater to their needs when they are babies). Now that the hubs and I have chosen to only have one (it's a 90/10 kind of decision) people give us the weird stink eye as well. Let me just say though, if you do ever have'll probably look back at this and think of how silly *some* of it sounded :) I know I did (with my journals and such). I can completely respect that it is your decision for now.