Either I'm an independent kind of girl ... or I take it all in stride. Maybe it's both? A fellow Marine Wife posted on a forum that her husband just started recruiting duty all of 4 days ago and "ohhh my gosh, the long hours ... and he has to contact all these seniors on THEIR time, and he had to go to the mall and their schools and apparently he has to set up TWO appointments every single day, and oh my gosh, he's just so depressed... this job is so hard on him and the hours are so long, I don't know how we're going to make it!"
Seriously? It's been 4 days. You're setting yourself up for a long haul at this rate.
I could lie to her and say it's going to get easier, but the truth is that it doesn't. The first 6 months are probably going to be the hardest only because DH is still figuring things out. Eventually, he'll get into a pattern and things will come together, but the hours will still bite the big one.
All I can do for Drew is just ... be supportive. And loving. And be his sounding board if he needs it. I think it took a solid year for him to really find his groove. I've also learned to treasure the time we have together, because it's scarce. I stopped planning things with him a long time ago, mostly I make plans for myself and the few friends I've made up here. But there's a lot to be said for being spontaneous, it means no one ends up disappointed when an appointment pops up or he has to work late. Of course, this job makes the long hours with an Armory look like a piece of cake.
It's been an adjustment. In time, we've both learned to get used to it. I hope to one day look back on this experience and say "Hey! We did that. Thank god it's over." It never really gets easier, you just get more accustomed to last minute plan chances and waiting hours upon hours for him to call and say he's on his way home (finally).
My only disappointment is that I end up eating dinner completely alone 95% of the time. It gets lonely. Drew knows better than to call me around 6:30/7 to see what I'm doing. Because my response (very matter of fact and void of emotion) is: "Eating dinner alone."
Wow, four days?! That's not enough time for ANYBODY to have a successful transition!
ReplyDeleteConsider Nursing school... you won't even notice he's gone so much. LOL. I kid.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree with you! It is funny for me to hear other wives complain about the long hours or how he is never home. I have ALOT of thoughts about what I would like to say to the other wives...but I don't. I think about their feelings and realize that this is what "sucks" for them....and I just normally tell them that their husband works long hours because it's his job, and my job is to support him and take care of everything on the homefront for him so that when we do have time together, we can both enjoy it.
ReplyDeleteBeing a military wife IS hard work...and as you have seen/or will see....it's not for everyone.
Thanks for being a great support system for your Marine! I love it!