Thursday, November 18, 2010

The Ex-Files

I'm a happily married woman (very happily) ... and recently, I can't get my ex-boyfriend off my brain. I don't get it, I don't like it, and I want it to stop.  I absolutely don't want to be thinking about him.
About the time wasted.
About how often I was upset and he made me cry.
About how much I stupidly loved him and how much I gave up to make that relationship work. 

And yet, last night? I had a dream about his selfish ass. It's not the first time I've dreamt of him and that makes me pretty pissed off too.

I'm married to the world's most wonderful man. Drew is absolutely everything I have ever wanted in a person. And my psychee wants me thinking about the worst thing to ever happen to me?
Oh, yes. I regret that relationship.
He eventually realized that he screwed up big time, that I wasn't coming back and that I was moving on.
And I know it ripped him.
Good: because it should. Doesn't make up for the fact that he ripped my damn heart out of my chest multiple times and stomped on it. To the point that I will never love anyone else like I loved him.

Dear Psychee: Stop it.
I don't want to think about him. I don't care what happens to him. I moved on and married a much better man.


  1. My mind is doing the same thing. And it sucks because just as I'm thinking "Monkey is so wonderful..", my mind goes, 'yeah, not like old stupid head...', thanks, really... i could do without the third wheel of past regret and pain tagging along now. No good memories there, can we just drop it now?
    I feel ya, it's very frustrating.

  2. You just need me there to hit you upside the head if you should utter his name.

  3. Amen, sista. I think that is something that plagues all of us to a certain extent. Just know you're not alone. Your psyche will shut the f up soon, promise. If it doesn't, give your friend Erin a call! ;-)

  4. Oh, girl, IT HAPPENS. I was abandoned by my boyfriend before my husband and he picked the weekend I went to the beach with boyfriend-who-turned husband to contact me after two years. That break-up kind of ruined my life for a bit. Of course, I still struggle with it. My husband is so patient with this. It's okay, really. Don't worry your pretty, happily-married head about it. Our pasts are still a part of us, even after we've recovered from it.