Monday, September 13, 2010

"horribly depressed"

OY! When did life get to be so damn hard? I think I'm "confused" as far as the career thing goes. I know I don't want to go back and do something else, I'm just confused about how to get my damn foot in the door! People tell me I've been about a thousand times happier since I started working at the magazine. Clearly, editorial departments and communications is just ... it's what I need to do. So how do I get there?

I think Sarah thinks I'm horribly depressed 90% of the time. I think I worry. About things that I should be worrying about, about things I shouldn't be. Some days, I'm more worried than others. Sometimes I'm so worried about my lack of career that I just ... cry. Because this was not supposed to be how things happened. I'm trying, honest I am. I couldn't be a total failure if I'm come pretty close at least twice.

I'm not depressed.
I just ... stress about things. The job at Olive Garden is a pain in the ass, but it is in fact: a job. It pays for my car, gas, groceries, laundry and sometimes an evening out.

Speaking of evening out: zomg, I've been invited out for Anna's bachelorette party. 51 Wharf becomes a club at 9pm ish ... I haven't been to a club in AGES. What the heck do I WEAR?! o.O  

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