Wednesday, September 22, 2010


I don't know anything about Spinal Muscular Atrophy Types 2 or 3.
But I do know Sarah Bella (kind of ... as much as the Internet will allow you to know someone).
We're not close. Especially not close like Jackie and Sarah are.
But we've spoken before. She's intelligent, she's classy, she wanted to be a parent ... she has a cat named Jealousy (awesomely unique).
She's always been a private person when it comes to the Interwebs. She didn't blog, didn't jump on the forums very often ... but I didn't ever push her, because I generally feel if people want to come forward with the information: they will.
Am I allowed to feel upset? Allowed to feel pissed at God or the lacktherof? Because there's no easy way to digest the fact that she's made her peace.
I'm not scared of dying; I'm not. As morbid as it may sound I'm kinda curious and a little bit of me can't wait to see God and Heaven. I think it's going to be glorious and majestic. It's going to be... one of a kind.

I hope angels lead her in.  I really do.  I don't even know half of it ... because I have this silly fairytale hope that it's all just going to be okay. But I'm not stupid: she's been fighting SMA for years. This is the end of the road.

I'm getting married in 2 weeks: and now this. If I know her: she'd want me to smile and take plenty of pictures.

Life is too short.
It's all too fragile all of a sudden.
And I wish ... I wish I had her conviction and her inner peace.


  1. I heard about this last month, and it is devastating. Though it's always harder on those left behind.

  2. I knew SOMETHING was up, because Jackie and Kayce and Ash were all panicked, but I didn't push it -- I figured it would surface eventually if it was something they really wanted anyone to know about.

    Geebus, now I feel like a shitty friend.