Saturday, January 8, 2011

"Would You Choose This Lifestyle"?

If given a second chance, would you choose to be involved with the military? Or would you press "re-do" and have your husband pick a different job?

I stand out on my own island with this, I'm sure. I tossed around the idea of commissioning to the Navy or Air Force under the Public Affairs speciality while I was still in college, but I eventually came to the conclusion that it was the PR/Media Relations/Marketing/Press Secretary umbrella that attracted me, not the other inevitable aspects of being in the military.

I wouldn't change the fact that Drew enlisted right out of high school, the MC is part of what brought us together. The Corps (recruiting duty in particular) has tested our relationship and made it stronger, and we've been provided with some unique opportunities to travel. However: I appreciate having control over my life and where it goes. I appreciate knowing that I can accept a job promotion, knowing that I can stay with whatever job it is for the next 5-10 years.  I appreciate knowing I won't have to move: that I can buy a home and stay put if I so chose. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy travel: but I never had any plans to live abroad. Life threw me a curve ball if you will.

I love my husband.
But I want us both to have long, successful and fruitful careers. I worked too hard in college for me to roll over and submit. I'll support him until the cows come home: but I want a career for myself, too. These military installations 9 times out of 10, aren't anywhere near a metropolitan area. It makes it a little more difficult to start and keep a lasting career in PR/Marketing if the city you live near doesn't have a robust business environment.

I truly don't mind the TDYs, deployments and 30+ day training operations as much as I do the constant moving around. I'm one of those people that could be perfectly content staying in one spot. That, and I loved living in SoCal. *wink*  And it isn't so much the travel that bugs me: it's the stress of picking my life up, finding a new job, and more importantly finding friends to spend time with on a Friday night ... every 3-4 years for the rest of his career. If me having a successful career wasn't so important and necessary, maybe I wouldn't mind so much. But I do.

If I were more flexible, I might be open to doing some more travel writing.

Bottom line? If it were up to me (and it's not) ... and it were possible to rewind and re-do .... I do believe I would want Drew to change his career path.


  1. I think I would have to agree with you as well. I am really thankful for the military in that it gave us a grounding to start our life out together. We always have food, a house to stay in, and money as well as its given me the opportunity to experience new things and places. However, when it is all said and done, I really want that stability in my life. I want to own our own home. I want to be near our family when we have kids. But at the same time I am scared to not be military because the food and the house and the money aren't guarunteed out in the civillian world. It's a big decision, and in a few years when we are faced with the decision of getting out or staying in, I can only hope that we have a plan so that we are able to make the best decision possible. Good luck with finding a job! I just graduated from college with my B.S in HR management and I am having a tough time too finding something in my career field, so I know how your feeling!

  2. I don't think you really are too far off from this. While I enjoy the lifestyle and feel a great sense of pride in being able to call myself a Marine Wife, and knowing that my husband is doing such a great job; something that makes a difference and knowing he is happy. All that is fulfilling to me. I, like you, want Ben to be happy doing something he loves. He happens to love the Marine Corps. With that being said, I wouldn't wish this life on my worst enemy. Perhaps if it were peace time it would be much different. But, I mean, really... these deployments suck! & furthermore, regarding the career thing; I was in your shoes once, with my business degree and I totally agree. It's hard to find a job without having to do some serious commuting if you live near the base. You, are much stronger than me, because well... I gave up with the finding a job idea. So, Kudos to you my friend!

  3. Good for you for saying the things others aren't brave enough to say!

    Stick to it, T. Don't change yourself to make it easier.

  4. I would do it again in a heartbeat, but you know that. I wish DH were STILL full-blown active. I love it all, I love the moving around, I love the stability of the financial aspect and the insurance part. I love it so much that I'm joining. :) I make it work for me though, and you have to do that, and that's the attitude you have to take.