Friday, March 27, 2009

Misuse of Prolifics

“I love you”
“I love my cat”
“I love this color”
“I love you mom/brother/family member”

Does the reason to all misuse of the word love secretly lie where people start to confuse “I love you” as in for true love for another person they share their life with by the words “I love you mom”? Ever wondered what love means to the ones you surround yourself with? Take a close look. I highly believe you will disagree with almost every given statement.

Now, considered we do want to express “I love you” to our boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. Did I mean it every time I used those very significant letters in that very order? Absolutely. Have I experienced its misuse? Check. Rude awakening. That once again leads to the question, what role this love we always think to know everything about plays in our every day life.

Does love mean compromise? I can name a few people who would immediately disagree. On the contrary, I can name even more who would include that statement in their definition. Granted, we all express the love we feel differently. Though, shouldn’t its meaning draw parallels to the ones we claim to love so dearly?

Love often finds acronyms in the lines “you are my world”.”You are my everything”. Most likely it is emphasized by the words “more than anything”. “with everything that I have”. Is “I love you” not significant anymore? Not, unless it ever has been. Do you feel less loved once those words aren’t part of the declaration any longer? I believe you will. Who is to blame? The one who in the first place felt as if “I love you” isn’t precious enough already and then went on to using powerful additions.

Wake up call: At what point in love are people given permission to not let actions follow any longer? At what point is it good enough to say and acknowledge a feeling that is no longer the base for all of our ways of choice and action? Despite living through the chapters of life that prepare you for all those questions, I seem to still be totally clueless. I wonder which thought leads to the assumption that it is perfectly acceptable to continue use of the words “I love you” [+/- emphasis] when at the same time, actions express the opposite and other people are able to take part in a behaviour that should exclusively be reserved to the one you claim to love [+/- emphasis]. Yes, the word is cheating. Word. It is however closely followed by decisions disregarding the person you would title as not only your love, but “your everything”. It is joined by the expectation that only one judgement counts. To be added is the lack of heart and soul behind those words. At what point is it tolerable that in order to save yourself, you drag out the end of this love which until the last minute you claim to feel? If I had to guess, it would be convenience that motivates some of us to just not cut our losses when the time is right. But not only that. I wonder, isn’t it the responsibility that we embrace by loving that is more important than the meaning of the actual feeling love? Blah. Public announcement: Yes, you are in fact responsible for the love you feel and the conclusions you draw. You make a commitment – face every factor about it. Grant the meaning of love its power and don’t place your own wants and needs above the reasoning for your speech of love if all you acknowledge is the impact someone else’s love could possibly have on yourself. Maybe some among us should rather turn their speech towards themselves – more suitable.
And responsibilities go even further than the phase of loving. Subsequent denial to the misuse of love and the fact that by chance, a lot of people around condone such behaviour make it even more risky and reckless to let yourself fall in love.

So I have the feeling, once one decides, love isn't for them anymore [despite their continuous use of those words, duh.], it is absolutely legitimate to pretend that two people didn't share love until the last minute before the change of heart as I will call it for now. Is it seriously humane to live in denial about two people taking steps towards a forever that was talked about until the very last minute? 

What do you think is going to happen when you first hear those words? Excitement and butterflies most likely control most of your body. There is nothing wrong with that. Do the words “I love you” give you a guarantee for the forever you constantly hear about? Of course not. Nevertheless, don’t we rely on those words more than anything? Without a doubt.And isn’t it the love-speaking person’s duty to make sure that we don’t rely on those words any longer than we can? Isn’t it meant for someone to drop the curtain when he or she no longer is able to follow their own words with the appropriate actions? It is a vicious circle: because at that very question, immaturity and the before mentioned [disregarded] responsibilities bite each other in the tail.

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